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Case #3 – The People vs Rich Tomlin (Leg Man)

Case #3 – The People vs Rich Tomlin (Leg Man)

When that leg climbing Joe Haertsch left Carson Station, he left an empty spot in Captain John Scott’s life, specifically on his leg.  Detective Rich Tomlin felt he was up to the task of filling that void.  One day a few Narco guys were in the hallway jawjacking with the Captain.  Rich saw this.  Thinking that the Narco guys were trying to edge him out of his coveted position on the Captain’s leg, Rich panicked.  He grabbed a nearby trustee who was mopping the floor.  Then, in a voice just loud enough for Helen Keller to hear, Rich started bragging about his intuitive investigative skills, and how his work has had a positive impact on the lives of the fine citizens of Carson.  This pathetic, self-serving speech was accompanied by sidelong glances to see if the Captain was noticing.  Just typing this story makes me want to puke!  Anyway, this disgusting incident resulted in the following exchange between the Captain and the Narco crew.
Narco Guy – “Hey Cap, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it looks like Tomlin is trying to get on your leg again.”
Captain Scott – “That’s okay, Rich has season leg tickets.”

VERDICT – Rich Tomlin, this Court finds you Guilty of Shameless Leg Climbing.
SENTENCE – The Court orders you to be confined for a period of 1 year in a puppy kennel, so that you can see what it’s like to have someone trying to climb your leg 24/7.
You are further ordered to recompense Captain Scott for any of his pants that you may have ruined.  Captain Scott, the Court recommends you carry a spray bottle filled with lemon juice, and spray Rich in the face with it when he tries to climb your leg, that, or try flicking him on the nose, while saying, “NO!”, in a loud firm voice.

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