Skip to main content

Case #3 – The People vs Rich Tomlin (Leg Man)

Case #3 – The People vs Rich Tomlin (Leg Man)

When that leg climbing Joe Haertsch left Carson Station, he left an empty spot in Captain John Scott’s life, specifically on his leg.  Detective Rich Tomlin felt he was up to the task of filling that void.  One day a few Narco guys were in the hallway jawjacking with the Captain.  Rich saw this.  Thinking that the Narco guys were trying to edge him out of his coveted position on the Captain’s leg, Rich panicked.  He grabbed a nearby trustee who was mopping the floor.  Then, in a voice just loud enough for Helen Keller to hear, Rich started bragging about his intuitive investigative skills, and how his work has had a positive impact on the lives of the fine citizens of Carson.  This pathetic, self-serving speech was accompanied by sidelong glances to see if the Captain was noticing.  Just typing this story makes me want to puke!  Anyway, this disgusting incident resulted in the following exchange between the Captain and the Narco crew.
Narco Guy – “Hey Cap, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it looks like Tomlin is trying to get on your leg again.”
Captain Scott – “That’s okay, Rich has season leg tickets.”

VERDICT – Rich Tomlin, this Court finds you Guilty of Shameless Leg Climbing.
SENTENCE – The Court orders you to be confined for a period of 1 year in a puppy kennel, so that you can see what it’s like to have someone trying to climb your leg 24/7.
You are further ordered to recompense Captain Scott for any of his pants that you may have ruined.  Captain Scott, the Court recommends you carry a spray bottle filled with lemon juice, and spray Rich in the face with it when he tries to climb your leg, that, or try flicking him on the nose, while saying, “NO!”, in a loud firm voice.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Case #11- The LASD vs L.A.P.D. (playing cops and cops)

     In September 1987, the Carson patrol area known as, "Tortilla Flats", was suffering a rash of burglaries.  To combat this, Deputy Ray Gayton-Jacob and Al Harris, who were training officers at the time, came up with a burglary suppression plan.  On, about, Wednesday, September 14, 1987, Ray and his trainee would be dressed in full uniform, but in an unmarked, Chevy Malibu, detective car.  They would cruise the Tortilla Flats neighborhood looking for burglars.  Al and his trainee, would remain outside of the neighborhood in a regular patrol car.  If Ray and his partner saw something suspicious, they would keep an eye on it and call in Al and his trainee to check it out.      Things were quiet, until about 1:00 A.M..  Ray, and his trainee, had just finished jamming a hype at Torrance Boulevard and New Hampshire Avenue and had resumed their patrol.  Ray spotted a black and white patrol car coming slowly their way. ...
32 comments
Read more

Retirement party advice

Retirement party advice          So March is coming up and we all know what that means. It's retirement season! Retirement can be a very stressful time. I'm not talking about retirement itself, I mean the Retirement Party.      People wonder if they should throw a retirement party. If they do, should they sell tickets? If they sell tickets, will anybody buy them? Should they make it a sit down dinner? Should they foot the full bill? Who will come? Should it be invitation only? Will ANYBODY come? So here's my advice.  I wondered about throwing a party.  Initially I was, "Naw, I don't want to sell tickets.  First off, what if nobody buys them, or even worse, it's like the football party I threw in 2000 where only three guys from the station showed up and I'd barely said anything more than "Hey" to them in the years I'd known them?  Secondly, I don't want to foot the bill for the whole party, 'cause everybody knows, if the dr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Case #46 - re The People vs Jeff Fleming again (Is someone missing a fat white guy?)

Case #46 - re The People vs Jeff Fleming again (Is someone missing a fat white guy?)      A bunch of us were helping Jeff and the rest of the Carson Narco crew out on a warrant service. Entry had been made and everything was Code-4, or so we thought. I was standing on the front porch of the target location when a neighbor lady came running up to me all out of breath, “Deputy! Deputy!” “Yes Ma’am?” “One of the people you’re looking for ran out the back!” “What!”, I said. I was surprised, because the house had been surrounded when entry was made and nobody reported seeing anyone run out. “Are you sure?” “Yes! He jumped the wall into my backyard and my rottweiler went after him.”      I got on the radio and advised units that we had an outstanding suspect. At this moment Jeff Fleming came walking out of the house and stood by us. he was sweating and somewhat out of breath. That didn't really surprise me. At the time, Jeff was frickin massive and jus...
26 comments
Read more