Case #6 - The People vs Luis Nunez (If it’s not being pulled by a 40 mule team, hook it)
Back in the mid-80’s, Luis Nunez was just another new kid on the block, and hadn’t yet achieved his “Little Godfather” status. A pair of EM deputies he worked with jammed a Mexican driving in the Dominguez area. The Mexican ran from his car and a containment was setup. The deputies searched the car to see if a clue could be found that would explain why the Mexican ran. Inside a loose door panel, they found a clue that weighed out to about 1 kilo. The deputies were excited to see this and requested more deputies to help find the suspect. Luis Nunez arrived to lend a hand. He saw several deputies standing around a car, gazing in awe at the package of cocaine, and congratulating the handling deputies on the seizure. Luis took a peek at what all the fuss was about and promptly snorted his derision. He confidently set about correcting his coworkers as to their misidentification of a common mineral.
“Ha, ha, ha!”, Luis laughed.
“What’s so funny?” the other deputies asked.
“That’s not cocaaaaine.” Luis scoffed, as he sarcastically drew out the last syllable.
“It’s not? What is it then?” they challenged.
“That’s borax!” Luis declared, as he began to edumacate the far more senior deputies.
The deputies paused thoughtfully, a bit of doubt creeping into their minds. After all, none of them had ever actually seen borax, except on laundry detergent commercials and this Nunez guy seemed pretty confidant, AND someone said this Nunez guy had been to college. Ooooooooooooooh. But they weren’t completely convinced.
“How do you know? What are you, a fucking chemist?” they asked.
“Nooooo,…” replied Luis in that condescending tone of his, as he began to explain how he knew the white crystalline substance resembling cocaine was, in fact, nothing more than plain old borax.
“…last week I stopped a Mexican driving down this very street, at about this time. I searched his car and, inside a door panel, I found that very same type of substance. It was wrapped in clear plastic and taped shut, just like that package you have there. When I asked the driver what it was, he told me it was borax.”
Once the laughter died down, Luis was placed on extended training.
Verdict – Luis Nunez, this Court finds you Guilty of Narcolapsy, that is to say, being asleep in the presence of narcotics.
Sentence – You are hereby ordered to join CNOA (California Narcotics Officer’s Association) and attend all available classes. And now that you are a Sgt, you are further ordered to instruct every deputy you supervise, that cocaine is smuggled in hidden compartments through the city and borax is pulled by 40 mule teams through the desert.
Back in the mid-80’s, Luis Nunez was just another new kid on the block, and hadn’t yet achieved his “Little Godfather” status. A pair of EM deputies he worked with jammed a Mexican driving in the Dominguez area. The Mexican ran from his car and a containment was setup. The deputies searched the car to see if a clue could be found that would explain why the Mexican ran. Inside a loose door panel, they found a clue that weighed out to about 1 kilo. The deputies were excited to see this and requested more deputies to help find the suspect. Luis Nunez arrived to lend a hand. He saw several deputies standing around a car, gazing in awe at the package of cocaine, and congratulating the handling deputies on the seizure. Luis took a peek at what all the fuss was about and promptly snorted his derision. He confidently set about correcting his coworkers as to their misidentification of a common mineral.
“Ha, ha, ha!”, Luis laughed.
“What’s so funny?” the other deputies asked.
“That’s not cocaaaaine.” Luis scoffed, as he sarcastically drew out the last syllable.
“It’s not? What is it then?” they challenged.
“That’s borax!” Luis declared, as he began to edumacate the far more senior deputies.
The deputies paused thoughtfully, a bit of doubt creeping into their minds. After all, none of them had ever actually seen borax, except on laundry detergent commercials and this Nunez guy seemed pretty confidant, AND someone said this Nunez guy had been to college. Ooooooooooooooh. But they weren’t completely convinced.
“How do you know? What are you, a fucking chemist?” they asked.
“Nooooo,…” replied Luis in that condescending tone of his, as he began to explain how he knew the white crystalline substance resembling cocaine was, in fact, nothing more than plain old borax.
“…last week I stopped a Mexican driving down this very street, at about this time. I searched his car and, inside a door panel, I found that very same type of substance. It was wrapped in clear plastic and taped shut, just like that package you have there. When I asked the driver what it was, he told me it was borax.”
Once the laughter died down, Luis was placed on extended training.
Verdict – Luis Nunez, this Court finds you Guilty of Narcolapsy, that is to say, being asleep in the presence of narcotics.
Sentence – You are hereby ordered to join CNOA (California Narcotics Officer’s Association) and attend all available classes. And now that you are a Sgt, you are further ordered to instruct every deputy you supervise, that cocaine is smuggled in hidden compartments through the city and borax is pulled by 40 mule teams through the desert.
Comments
Post a Comment