Case #7 - re The People vs Tim Alsky (You say ceviche, Tim says crappe)
At the 2004 Carson Station Christmas party, Tim Alsky was having a real good time. He was being transferred to Aero Bureau soon and he thought this just might be the year that he finally got that coveted Deputy of the Year Award, that he had been sucking up so desperately for. He was sure it was in the bag, especially after those little flyers that he had printed up, begging for votes. In celebration of his impending victory, Tim decided to try the ceviche. He’d never heard of ceviche before and didn’t know what it was, but what the hey, Timbo loves Mexican food and everyone was raving about it. A few moments later, when his face swelled up, his eyes swelled shut and he was on the floor gasping for air like a fish on the pier, the paramedics were called. The paramedics asked if Timmy had eaten anything unusual.
“Duh duh, dayveday”, Tim managed to gasp.
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“Just the ceviche.”, translated John Racz.
“Are you allergic to ceviche?” asked the paramedic.
“Dough.”, replied Tim
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“No.”, translated John Racz.
“Are you allergic to anything?”, asked the paramedic.
“Fit ad thitwuth.” Tim replied.
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“Fish and citrus.”, translated John Racz.
“Do you know what ceviche is?”, asked the paramedic.
“Dough.”, replied Tim
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“No.”, translated John Racz.
“It’s fish marinated in citrus.”, replied the paramedic.
Tim’s eyes would have grown wide in shock, if they hadn’t been swollen shut.
“Diiiiiit.”, replied Tim
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“Shiiiiiit.”, translated John Racz.
"So, this guy's really a deputy?" the paramedic asked John.
"Unfortunately.", John replied.
Tim ended up in the hospital for a few days, with his head so swollen it looked like Mike Tyson had mistaken it for a speed bag. Oh some traffic guy, Tim Abrahams, got the Deputy Of The Year Award, the first time anyone could think of that a traffic twit got that award. I’m not saying Abrahams is a member of the DNC, but it was one of the only times that a guy got that award who nobody admitted voting for. But hey, look on the bright side Timmy, thanks to you, everyone said it was the best station party ever!
At the 2004 Carson Station Christmas party, Tim Alsky was having a real good time. He was being transferred to Aero Bureau soon and he thought this just might be the year that he finally got that coveted Deputy of the Year Award, that he had been sucking up so desperately for. He was sure it was in the bag, especially after those little flyers that he had printed up, begging for votes. In celebration of his impending victory, Tim decided to try the ceviche. He’d never heard of ceviche before and didn’t know what it was, but what the hey, Timbo loves Mexican food and everyone was raving about it. A few moments later, when his face swelled up, his eyes swelled shut and he was on the floor gasping for air like a fish on the pier, the paramedics were called. The paramedics asked if Timmy had eaten anything unusual.
“Duh duh, dayveday”, Tim managed to gasp.
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“Just the ceviche.”, translated John Racz.
“Are you allergic to ceviche?” asked the paramedic.
“Dough.”, replied Tim
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“No.”, translated John Racz.
“Are you allergic to anything?”, asked the paramedic.
“Fit ad thitwuth.” Tim replied.
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“Fish and citrus.”, translated John Racz.
“Do you know what ceviche is?”, asked the paramedic.
“Dough.”, replied Tim
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“No.”, translated John Racz.
“It’s fish marinated in citrus.”, replied the paramedic.
Tim’s eyes would have grown wide in shock, if they hadn’t been swollen shut.
“Diiiiiit.”, replied Tim
A puzzled look by the paramedics and,
“Shiiiiiit.”, translated John Racz.
"So, this guy's really a deputy?" the paramedic asked John.
"Unfortunately.", John replied.
Tim ended up in the hospital for a few days, with his head so swollen it looked like Mike Tyson had mistaken it for a speed bag. Oh some traffic guy, Tim Abrahams, got the Deputy Of The Year Award, the first time anyone could think of that a traffic twit got that award. I’m not saying Abrahams is a member of the DNC, but it was one of the only times that a guy got that award who nobody admitted voting for. But hey, look on the bright side Timmy, thanks to you, everyone said it was the best station party ever!
Verdict – Tim Alsky, this Court finds you Guilty of Pure Stupidity.
Sentence – Life has punished you enough
Funny, not funny.
ReplyDeleteNot sorry!
Yeah, that was a funny ass incident. I have a picture of him in the hospital that I'm going to add to this, if I ever find it
ReplyDelete