Skip to main content

Case #27 - re The People vs Mike Chacon (The spoonmaster's assistant)

Case #27 - re The People vs Mike Chacon (The spoonmaster's assistant)

One EM shift, back when Carson’s area went up to 120th St, Mike "Chaka" Chacon had a little caper at the Blue Light Motel. Mike had been fortunate and detained a crackhead outside of one of the rooms. Unfortunately the crackhead didn’t have any dope on him. Fortunately, the crackhead had a key to one of the motel rooms. Mike was sure the cluck had dope in the room. Unfortunately, he was a one man car and he couldn’t safely go into the room with a suspect alone, not knowing who else might be in the room. Fortunately, Deputy Luis Nunez, aka "the Little Godfather", was nearby and responded to Mike’s request for backup. The two deputies went into the motel room, with the crackhead's permission of course.

Anyway, and unfortunately, a female companion of the crackhead was already in the room, threw some rock cocaine into the toilet and flushed it. Fortunately, the toilet didn’t work! Unfortunately, the toilet didn’t work because it was clogged with three days worth of crap, piss, toilet paper, cigarette butts and… oh yeah, a placenta and afterbirth.

Mike stared down at numerous rocks of cocaine, laying in, on, and around the toilet’s previously described contents. Mike squinted his eyes and concentrated. The rocks of coke were glittering, like so many uncut diamonds in the mud. All he had to do was retrieve them. Mike was tempted. Like Odysseus, so many centuries before, Mike heard the siren’s call. He bent down, intent on recovering them when, POW, his sense of smell was slammed with the odor of three days worth of number one, number two and decomposing number one and a half,
“Fuck it! I’m not getting that (the rocks), out of that (everything that wasn’t rocks). I’m cutting these nasty clucks loose.”, Mike declared.
“Well then get out of the way Susie, because the Little Godfather is 10-15 with two! Ha, ha, ha!”,
and with that, Luis shoved Chaca aside, grabbed a plastic spoon out of a nearby trashcan and started mining those glittering little gems out of their matrix. Chaca was kind enough to vomit outside.

Verdict – Mike Chacon, this Court finds you Guilty of Being A Squeamish Little Girlie Boy!



Sentence – You are ordered to start acting less like Susie Homemaker and more like Luis Nunez, a Deputy's Deputy, who’s not afraid of a little bit of stinky stuff if it’ll get him a hook! In addition your nickname is officially changed from Chaca to Chica. Get the door for the little lady will you bailiff?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Case #11- The LASD vs L.A.P.D. (playing cops and cops)

     In September 1987, the Carson patrol area known as, "Tortilla Flats", was suffering a rash of burglaries.  To combat this, Deputy Ray Gayton-Jacob and Al Harris, who were training officers at the time, came up with a burglary suppression plan.  On, about, Wednesday, September 14, 1987, Ray and his trainee would be dressed in full uniform, but in an unmarked, Chevy Malibu, detective car.  They would cruise the Tortilla Flats neighborhood looking for burglars.  Al and his trainee, would remain outside of the neighborhood in a regular patrol car.  If Ray and his partner saw something suspicious, they would keep an eye on it and call in Al and his trainee to check it out.      Things were quiet, until about 1:00 A.M..  Ray, and his trainee, had just finished jamming a hype at Torrance Boulevard and New Hampshire Avenue and had resumed their patrol.  Ray spotted a black and white patrol car coming slowly their way. ...

The French Toast Connection

  The French Toast Connection        So, when we first got married, Michelle couldn't cook.  As a bachelor, I had survived on oatmeal, eggs, sandwiches, spaghetti, salad and canned soup and that was good enough for me. Michelle's cooking skills were on par with mine, except my eggs, sandwiches, spaghetti and salads were better. Michelle, however, wanted to improve her cooking skills so, every couple of months, she would try a new recipe on us. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was okay, sometimes it didn't turn out so well.      One morning, when Logan was about three years old and Conner was about six, Michelle decided to give french toast a go for the first time. I like french toast, but the boys had never had it.  Michelle called us, saying breakfast was about ready.  We all sat down in our usual places.  Michelle next to me and the boys across from us.  Michelle put a slice of french toast on each of our plate...

Case #65 - re The People vs Don Chanler (A lesson for all trainees)

  Case #65 - re The People vs Don Chanler ( A lesson for all trainees ) Don Chanler was the Question Cadet in our Academy class, class #226.  At the end of each long day, one of the staff instructors would come in and, prior to dismissing us for the day, would always ask if anyone had any questions about the day's classes.  There was only one cadet who would ever raise his hand.  Don Frickin' Chanler.  Chanler would immediately raise his hand and the staff instructor would resignedly call his name. Chanler would always ask obvious question, after obvious question, delaying our release for the day with ev-ery sin-gle point-less ques-tion.  As with all Question Cadets, only he was interested in what he had to ask.  Three years later, Don Frickin Chanler came to Carson with me, Mike Chacon and about 8 other people from our Academy class.  In Patrol School, we were not relieved to discover that he had not changed.  In fact he had gotten worse, be...