The Retired Cop

Case #43 - re Louis Suazo, Warren Fairbanks, Eugene Gaines, Michael Perea, and Cliff Jones vs Each Other (What did the Chinese guy say when the cop asked if he crashed his car? “Ahhh, no wrecks heah” (say it fast))      Several years ago, a few of the station fatties decided to have a contest to see who could lose the highest percentage of blubber. To make the contest interesting, they each put a hundred dollars into a “winner-take-all” kitty. There was Warren Fairbanks, Mike Perea, Eugene Gaines, Cliff Jones, and Louis Suazo. I understand there were some qualifying factors that contestants needed to meet in order to enter the contest. 1- If you always wear clean underwear, not so much out of a sense of personal hygiene, but more out of an ever increasing concern that if you bend over your pants might rip… you qualified. 2- If you ever called paramedics, because you were having sharp chest pains, and when the paramedics lifted one of your man-boobs to listen to your heart, a couple

35 Year Army Reunion      On the July 13th weekend, 2018, four people who had served together in the 103rd Military Intelligence Battalion, and, in fact, had been some of it's founding members, met together for the first time in 35 years.  They met in Las Vegas.  Those people were Steve "Bucky" White, Steve "Chip" Jordan, me And a guy who answers to a lot of names, which caused a debate as to what his name actually was, Chris "Gary" Figelski, who everyone simply called "Fig". There was a fifth person there for the reunion, that was "Bucky's" wife, the former Stella Carrillo.  She had also served in the 103rd M.I. Battalion, but she had arrived after "Fig", Chip" and I had left. Technically, there was a sixth person, my wife, Michelle, but she was sick with laryngitis and stayed mostly in the room, except for her "health walks" around the expensive stores at the Venetian Hotel.      So, I don

Case #42 - re The People vs Wilbert Seelhorst ( A matter of perspective )      I was working with Wilbert Seelhorst one Day shift in 1989 or 1990.  It was the end of shift and we were heading into the station.  We decided to stop a car at Main and 192nd streets.  Wilbert was the bookman and I was the driver.  As our cars stopped, Wilbert bailed out and got up on the  passenger side using that patented strut of his.  He was leaning at an odd angle to his right, with his left shoulder raised, but tilted forward, left hand hanging in the air in front of his left hip. Right shoulder dropped, but tilted forward, because of the way he rested the back of his hand on his gun butt, with the top of the web of his hand on it, so his palm faced the sky.  On top of all that, every so often, his left shoulder would jerk upward as his head would jerk briefly down towards it. But this case isn’t about his oddball physical mannerisms.  Far be it from me, to pick on the peculiarities and foibles of an