The Retired Cop

     In September 1987, the Carson patrol area known as, "Tortilla Flats", was suffering a rash of burglaries.  To combat this, Deputy Ray Gayton-Jacob and Al Harris, who were training officers at the time, came up with a burglary suppression plan.  On, about, Wednesday, September 14, 1987, Ray and his trainee would be dressed in full uniform, but in an unmarked, Chevy Malibu, detective car.  They would cruise the Tortilla Flats neighborhood looking for burglars.  Al and his trainee, would remain outside of the neighborhood in a regular patrol car.  If Ray and his partner saw something suspicious, they would keep an eye on it and call in Al and his trainee to check it out.      Things were quiet, until about 1:00 A.M..  Ray, and his trainee, had just finished jamming a hype at Torrance Boulevard and New Hampshire Avenue and had resumed their patrol.  Ray spotted a black and white patrol car coming slowly their way.  Ray assumed it was Al.  Ray assumed wrong.  It was an L.A.

  The French Toast Connection        So, when we first got married, Michelle couldn't cook.  As a bachelor, I had survived on oatmeal, eggs, sandwiches, spaghetti, salad and canned soup and that was good enough for me. Michelle's cooking skills were on par with mine, except my eggs, sandwiches, spaghetti and salads were better. Michelle, however, wanted to improve her cooking skills so, every couple of months, she would try a new recipe on us. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was okay, sometimes it didn't turn out so well.      One morning, when Logan was about three years old and Conner was about six, Michelle decided to give french toast a go for the first time. I like french toast, but the boys had never had it.  Michelle called us, saying breakfast was about ready.  We all sat down in our usual places.  Michelle next to me and the boys across from us.  Michelle put a slice of french toast on each of our plates.  They smelled really good.  We each took a bite, prett

Case #10 - The People vs Derek Cho (What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a Korean?) (The main deputy's name has been changed at his request, so if there is a deputy named Derek Cho THAT is pure coincidence, As of 2017 there was never a deputy by that name assigned to Carson) In October 2007, Derek Cho was involved in a use of force incident.  Even though everyone involved in this case has been interviewed, just what exactly happened is still a bit of a mystery.  All the witnesses only saw portions of the events that happened.  The suspect, claims he doesn’t remember a thing, and every time the subject was broached with Derek Cho, Cho yawned, closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.  What’s up with that? The known facts are these;  a 17 year old, Hispanic "track star", went to Magic Mountain for a day of good, clean, pot smoking fun.  By the end of the day his amigos y amigas noticed that he was acting weird.  On the way home, they noticed that his behav

Case #9 - re The People vs Smilin' Bob (A two-man pie eating contest)      Smilin' Bob and I were partners for about a year on the graveyard shift (aka Earlies aka EMs).  Bob earned his nickname,because, ironically, he never smiled.  Bob was as stone-faced as Mt Rushmore.   One night Smilin’ Bob and I got a call at the, “Baker’s Square”, restaurant, on Carson Street and Vermont Avenue.  They were getting ready to close and wanted us to chase a transient away.  Since it was closing time for the restaurant, when we were done with the call, the manager came up to us, “ Hey, we really appreciate you guys coming around.  Here’s a little token of our appreciation you can take back to the station. ” The manager presented us with two pies, a banana cream and a strawberry.  I thought that was very nice of him and knew the guys at the station would appreciate it.      I held the pies in my lap, as Smilin’ Bob peeled rubber out of the parking lot and straight across six lanes of

Case #8 - re The People vs John Lauvai & John Moore (When you have two Johns, shits gonna happen ) (dedicated to Dr Seuss)         During the rainy season of 2005, California was hit by rainstorms harder than ever before in my memory.  Houses were falling down hillsides, hillsides were falling down on houses, roads were washing away, sinkholes were swallowing cars, cars were floating down rivers that are normally dry river beds…real Wrath of God type stuff.      John Moore and John Lauvai were partnered up. Our two Johns were driving down Del Amo Bl at Central Av, when their radio car hit a deep, rain filled, pothole and stalled.  As the rain fell harder and harder, and the water around them started to rise, a little rain water came in through the open window, making about an inch of water on the floorboard.  Our two Johns put their heads together and tried to figure out what they should do to keep their feet dry. “Oh what to do, what to do, what to do?” , whined John 1 and Jo

Case #7 - re The People vs Tim Alsky (You say ceviche, Tim says crappe)      At the 2004 Carson Station Christmas party, Tim Alsky was having a real good time.  He was being transferred to Aero Bureau soon and he thought this just might be the year that he finally got that coveted Deputy of the Year Award, that he had been sucking up so desperately for.  He was sure it was in the bag, especially after those little flyers that he had printed up, begging for votes.  In celebration of his impending victory, Tim decided to try the ceviche.  He’d never heard of ceviche before and didn’t know what it was, but what the hey, Timbo loves Mexican food and everyone was raving about it.  A few moments later, when his face swelled up, his eyes swelled shut and he was on the floor gasping for air like a fish on the pier, the paramedics were called.  The paramedics asked if Timmy had eaten anything unusual. “ Duh duh, dayveday ”, Tim managed to gasp. A puzzled look by the paramedics and, “ Just

      Case #6 - The People vs Luis Nunez (If it’s not being pulled by a 40 mule team, hook it)      Back in the mid-80’s, Luis Nunez was just another new kid on the block, and hadn’t yet achieved his “Little Godfather” status.  A pair of EM deputies he worked with jammed a Mexican driving in the Dominguez area.  The Mexican ran from his car and a containment was setup.  The deputies searched the car to see if a clue could be found that would explain why the Mexican ran.  Inside a loose door panel, they found a clue that weighed out to about 1 kilo.  The deputies were excited to see this and requested more deputies to help find the suspect.  Luis Nunez arrived to lend a hand.  He saw several deputies standing around a car, gazing in awe at the package of cocaine, and congratulating the handling deputies on the seizure.  Luis took a peek at what all the fuss was about and promptly snorted his derision.  He confidently set about correcting his coworkers as to their misidentification of

  Case #5 - Re The People vs Dan Yamamoto (…or, why is it you never see Dan Yamamoto and Elmer Fudd in the same place at the same time?)       There was a robbery that just occurred.  The suspects were tracked to the Motel 6 at Sepulveda Bl and Vermont Av., and by coincidence, to room 211 in that motel.  Units converged and a containment was set up.  The two suspects left their room and started running eastbound toward their car.   These facts are undisputed.  The rest is a little fuzzy, because several things were happening at once.  When the deputies saw the suspects heading for their car, the deputies decided to rush the suspects for two reasons; 1- to prevent the suspects from reaching their car and having the situation escalate into a vehicle pursuit and 2- to prevent the suspects from running back to their room and having the situation escalate into a barricaded suspect situation.      Three deputies ran at the suspects from the west. “Bansai” Dan Yamamoto  drove toward t

Case #4 - re The People vs Louis Suazo (What do you get when you cross a spider with a Mexican)  One nice summer day, in around 2003, Louis Suazo and I were driving along in the 2800 block of Dominguez St.  We were flagged down by a couple that we refered to as, “The Turtle People”, because they raised turtles.  Actually they raised tortoises, but, Turtle People", flows better, so that's what we went with... and Louis really doesn't know the difference anway.  “The Turtle People” were pro-law enforcement and very active in their community.  “The Turtle People” told us there was a transient living in a fenced off, brush filled, area at the end of the cul-de-sac. We told them we would take care of the problem and drove down to the end of the cul-de-sac. We squeezed through a gate in the chain link fence, to get into a small field.  Louis had to do a little more squeezing than I did.  We immediately found ourselves engulfed by chest high weeds, head high from Louis’ pers

Case #3 – The People vs Rich Tomlin (Leg Man) When that leg climbing Joe Haertsch left Carson Station, he left an empty spot in Captain John Scott’s life, specifically on his leg.  Detective Rich Tomlin felt he was up to the task of filling that void.  One day a few Narco guys were in the hallway jawjacking with the Captain.  Rich saw this.  Thinking that the Narco guys were trying to edge him out of his coveted position on the Captain’s leg, Rich panicked.  He grabbed a nearby trustee who was mopping the floor.  Then, in a voice just loud enough for Helen Keller to hear, Rich started bragging about his intuitive investigative skills, and how his work has had a positive impact on the lives of the fine citizens of Carson.  This pathetic, self-serving speech was accompanied by sidelong glances to see if the Captain was noticing.  Just typing this story makes me want to puke!  Anyway, this disgusting incident resulted in the following exchange between the Captain and the Narco crew. Narco

     Case #2 - The People vs Former Carson Deputy Ed Torres (...and while  we’re on the subject of shotguns)      Ed Torres designed a new shotgun obstacle course.  He and Ruben Alvarez were on foot looking for a bad guy.  They came to a fence they had to climb over.  Ruben went first then Ed tried to pass the shotgun over the fence to him.  Midway over, the shotgun went, “BOOM!” Ruben’s underwear went smelly and Ed went excuse making.  Nobody else has tried Ed “Boom Boom” Torres’ shotgun obstacle course since.  Patent pending. VERDICT – Ed “Boom Boom” Torres, this Court finds you Guilty of Assault With A Deadly Weapon On A Peace Officer. SENTENCE – At dawn you are to be shot 21 times by a firing squad using the bean bag shotguns, while wearing Ruben’s underwear as a blindfold.

Case #1 - The People vs Jeff Fleming’s shame, his cousin, Scott Aikin (on AKA’s or what do Rocks and Boulderss think about?  Nothing, apparently.)      When Big Scott Aikin got to Carson Sheriff's Station, he began earning nicknames faster than lightning can strike.  Scott “The Rock” Aiken didn’t earn his nickname “The Rock” as a comparison to his muscles though.  No, it was more of a comparison to his thinking and swimming abilities.  On a summer river trip, “The Rock” almost drowned…while wearing a life preserver.  In a panicked last ditch effort to retain buoyancy “The Rock” peeled off his rubber sandals and frantically threw them, as far away as he could, where they bobbed aimlessly on the water’s surface. Smart thinkin’ that was!  Surprisingly, it didn’t help!  Go figure.  Luckily, "Pugsley", who also had the nickname, "Boulder", because he was shaped like one, was nearby on a jet ski.  "Boulder" heard “The Rock’s” girlish squeals for help and r

      Live Better Chemically      Back on May 25, 1990, Barry Shapiro was working unit 169 out of the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department's Carson Station.  He was working the EM shift, or earlies, as we called it.  Most people refer to it as the graveyard shift.  Barry was patrolling the area of Alameda Street and 220th Street.  This is a road that doesn't get much traffic at night.  The only nearby neighborhood is on the east side of the street and is fairly small, the west side of the street is taken up by railroad tracks, a rail yard and refineries.  South of where he was were more refineries and a, mostly closed, industrial area was north of him.  He stopped a Mexican guy for a drunk driving investigation and asked for a unit backup.      Rick Cocke was working unit 163 and was the closest unit, being about two minutes away.  When Rick arrived, Barry was patting the Mexican down, near the trunk of the Mexican's Chevy.  While Barry did that, Rick went to sea

Joe & Steve are my step-mother's brothers.  So technically they are my uncles, or step-uncles, but Joe is four or five years older than me and Steve is about a year older than me, so I always thought of them more like cousins.  I've known them since I was four or five years old. I was never all that crazy about going to visit them.  There were three main reasons.  First off, Joe was always doing something to get us, well, really them, in trouble.  Secondly, when they pissed their mom off, she would come at them with a "bull whip"!  I don't really know if it was a bull whip, but that's what they called it.  It WAS a whip though.  One of those long braided leather jobs.  The first time I saw it happen, we were in their room and were supposed to be asleep, but Joe kept making Steve and me laugh.  Suddenly the door burst open, the light switch was flicked on and their mom started swinging that whip at them.  She never, ever tried to punish me, but I was cl