Case #10 - The People vs Derek Cho (What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a Korean?)
(The main deputy's name has been changed at his request, so if there is a deputy named Derek Cho THAT is pure coincidence, As of 2017 there was never a deputy by that name assigned to Carson)
In October 2007, Derek Cho was involved in a use of force incident. Even though everyone involved in this case has been interviewed, just what exactly happened is still a bit of a mystery. All the witnesses only saw portions of the events that happened. The suspect, claims he doesn’t remember a thing, and every time the subject was broached with Derek Cho, Cho yawned, closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. What’s up with that?
The known facts are these; a 17 year old, Hispanic "track star", went to Magic Mountain for a day of good, clean, pot smoking fun. By the end of the day his amigos y amigas noticed that he was acting weird. On the way home, they noticed that his behavior had been officially upgraded to, “Asshole”. By the time they got back to Carson, they noticed that they were tired of his company and ejected his ass from the car at 220th St and Moneta Av. At this point, our little chronic smoker began exhibiting the symptoms of being under the influence of PCP. He tore his shirt off and jumped onto the hood of the first car that came along. Whereupon, he commenced to screaming incoherently and punching the vehicle’s windshield. The shocked driver gunned it, sending the buffalo head up and over his car to land on the pavement where he remained motionless. The shaken driver flagged down Deputy Cliff Jones and his trainee and told them what happened. Deputy Jones and his trainee went to investigate. When they arrived the teen was unconscious, but soon came to and began running westbound 220th St to Figueroa St. The deputies slowly paced him in their car, while ordering him to stop. When he realized that his attempt to elude Deputy Jones and his trainee, by running slowly in a straight line, down the middle of the major thoroughfare had failed, he stopped, turned and took a combative stance.
Deputy Jones and his trainee exited the car to detain the suspect. The suspect charged at Deputy Jones, who retreated a couple of steps. This put Jones in the area between the rear door and the rear fender. The suspect saw his chance, and jumped into the driver’s seat. This plan, like the previous escape plan, had a flaw of it’s own. No keys, what a bitch! Cliff jumped into the passenger seat and started to fight the suspect. The cavalry arrived in the form of Deputy Derek Cho. Derek quickly evaluated the situation and decided that it was time to deploy the taser. He’d been dying to try that little piece of equipment out, ever since he saw that college kid get the shit tazed out of himself at a John Kerry speech, while whining,
“Don’t taze me, Bro! Don’t taze me!”
Cho saw this as his chance for fame and fortune on a, “YouTube”, posting. Cho fired those little darts into the suspect and squeezed the trigger, sending 50,00 volts, or how ever much it is, of electricity into the suspect at the speed of... uhhhhh…electricity? Cho’s eager anticipation was disappointed, as the suspect looked up at Cho, eye-fricked him for the five seconds that the taser automatically discharged for, and on the sixth second, bailed out of the car, and charged Cho. This next part’s a little fuzzy, since, Cliff didn’t have a real clear view, and Cho kept falling asleep, when asked about it, but there was a bit of a scuffle, and somehow, or another, the taser dart wires got wrapped around Cho’s forearms. Well, he squeezed the trigger again. On purpose, or accidentally? Who knows? Mr Sominex kept pretending to be asleep when questioned. At any rate he zapped himself. Now we should all know that the only part of the body that is actually shocked, when the taser goes off, is the area of the body between the two points of contact. In this case, the contact points were his forearms, so the jolt went up both arms and across his chest. THAT is gonna put ya down, and down Cho went, conking his coconut on the concrete, and earning a few days in the hospital!
Verdict – Deputy Cho. Watt were you thinking about? WATT! Get it? THAT"S A HOOT! I bet it really HERTZ when you taze yourself! GET IT? I'm killing myself! OOO, HOO, HOO, HOO! Okay, okay okay. Phew. No more electricity puns. This is serious business. The Court finds you Guilty of violating the State’s CURRENT (hee, hee, hee) Electricity Conservation Codes. OH, and of course, violating the Department’s Force Policy. You can’t taze yourself, unless you are resisting yourself. Along those same lines; as the person CHARGED (get it?) with tazing yourself, you’ve put the department in quite a pickle. They can discipline you for violating department policy, but you can sue them for use of excessive force. What a quandary!!
Sentence – Well, I think I’ve come up with the perfect compromise. You don’t sue them and they won’t discipline you. Perfect! The policy violation is DISCHARGED! Now as for violating the State’s Eectricity Conservation Codes, I’m ordering that you wear the pictured T-shirt for 90 days, and stay away from John Kerry.
Oh, for those of you still wondering to yourselves,
“Soooo, what DO you call a fight between a Mexican and a Korean, anyway?”
The answer is, … A CHO-DOWN! (badum bum... chee) GET IT? Ha ha ha ha ha! Man, I crack myself up.
(The main deputy's name has been changed at his request, so if there is a deputy named Derek Cho THAT is pure coincidence, As of 2017 there was never a deputy by that name assigned to Carson)
In October 2007, Derek Cho was involved in a use of force incident. Even though everyone involved in this case has been interviewed, just what exactly happened is still a bit of a mystery. All the witnesses only saw portions of the events that happened. The suspect, claims he doesn’t remember a thing, and every time the subject was broached with Derek Cho, Cho yawned, closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. What’s up with that?
The known facts are these; a 17 year old, Hispanic "track star", went to Magic Mountain for a day of good, clean, pot smoking fun. By the end of the day his amigos y amigas noticed that he was acting weird. On the way home, they noticed that his behavior had been officially upgraded to, “Asshole”. By the time they got back to Carson, they noticed that they were tired of his company and ejected his ass from the car at 220th St and Moneta Av. At this point, our little chronic smoker began exhibiting the symptoms of being under the influence of PCP. He tore his shirt off and jumped onto the hood of the first car that came along. Whereupon, he commenced to screaming incoherently and punching the vehicle’s windshield. The shocked driver gunned it, sending the buffalo head up and over his car to land on the pavement where he remained motionless. The shaken driver flagged down Deputy Cliff Jones and his trainee and told them what happened. Deputy Jones and his trainee went to investigate. When they arrived the teen was unconscious, but soon came to and began running westbound 220th St to Figueroa St. The deputies slowly paced him in their car, while ordering him to stop. When he realized that his attempt to elude Deputy Jones and his trainee, by running slowly in a straight line, down the middle of the major thoroughfare had failed, he stopped, turned and took a combative stance.
Deputy Jones and his trainee exited the car to detain the suspect. The suspect charged at Deputy Jones, who retreated a couple of steps. This put Jones in the area between the rear door and the rear fender. The suspect saw his chance, and jumped into the driver’s seat. This plan, like the previous escape plan, had a flaw of it’s own. No keys, what a bitch! Cliff jumped into the passenger seat and started to fight the suspect. The cavalry arrived in the form of Deputy Derek Cho. Derek quickly evaluated the situation and decided that it was time to deploy the taser. He’d been dying to try that little piece of equipment out, ever since he saw that college kid get the shit tazed out of himself at a John Kerry speech, while whining,
“Don’t taze me, Bro! Don’t taze me!”
Cho saw this as his chance for fame and fortune on a, “YouTube”, posting. Cho fired those little darts into the suspect and squeezed the trigger, sending 50,00 volts, or how ever much it is, of electricity into the suspect at the speed of... uhhhhh…electricity? Cho’s eager anticipation was disappointed, as the suspect looked up at Cho, eye-fricked him for the five seconds that the taser automatically discharged for, and on the sixth second, bailed out of the car, and charged Cho. This next part’s a little fuzzy, since, Cliff didn’t have a real clear view, and Cho kept falling asleep, when asked about it, but there was a bit of a scuffle, and somehow, or another, the taser dart wires got wrapped around Cho’s forearms. Well, he squeezed the trigger again. On purpose, or accidentally? Who knows? Mr Sominex kept pretending to be asleep when questioned. At any rate he zapped himself. Now we should all know that the only part of the body that is actually shocked, when the taser goes off, is the area of the body between the two points of contact. In this case, the contact points were his forearms, so the jolt went up both arms and across his chest. THAT is gonna put ya down, and down Cho went, conking his coconut on the concrete, and earning a few days in the hospital!
Verdict – Deputy Cho. Watt were you thinking about? WATT! Get it? THAT"S A HOOT! I bet it really HERTZ when you taze yourself! GET IT? I'm killing myself! OOO, HOO, HOO, HOO! Okay, okay okay. Phew. No more electricity puns. This is serious business. The Court finds you Guilty of violating the State’s CURRENT (hee, hee, hee) Electricity Conservation Codes. OH, and of course, violating the Department’s Force Policy. You can’t taze yourself, unless you are resisting yourself. Along those same lines; as the person CHARGED (get it?) with tazing yourself, you’ve put the department in quite a pickle. They can discipline you for violating department policy, but you can sue them for use of excessive force. What a quandary!!
Sentence – Well, I think I’ve come up with the perfect compromise. You don’t sue them and they won’t discipline you. Perfect! The policy violation is DISCHARGED! Now as for violating the State’s Eectricity Conservation Codes, I’m ordering that you wear the pictured T-shirt for 90 days, and stay away from John Kerry.
“Soooo, what DO you call a fight between a Mexican and a Korean, anyway?”
The answer is, … A CHO-DOWN! (badum bum... chee) GET IT? Ha ha ha ha ha! Man, I crack myself up.
You missed an electrical joke with "resisting" as well - a 'resistor' is a common electrical component.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to make sure you get them all...
LOL next time, I'll try to include those. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Delete