Skip to main content

Case #5 - Re The People vs Dan Yamamoto (…or, why is it you never see Dan Yamamoto and Elmer Fudd in the same place at the same time?)

  Case #5 - Re The People vs Dan Yamamoto (…or, why is it you never see Dan Yamamoto and Elmer Fudd in the same place at the same time?) 

     There was a robbery that just occurred.  The suspects were tracked to the Motel 6 at Sepulveda Bl and Vermont Av., and by coincidence, to room 211 in that motel.  Units converged and a containment was set up.  The two suspects left their room and started running eastbound toward their car.   These facts are undisputed.  The rest is a little fuzzy, because several things were happening at once.  When the deputies saw the suspects heading for their car, the deputies decided to rush the suspects for two reasons;
1- to prevent the suspects from reaching their car and having the situation escalate into a vehicle pursuit and
2- to prevent the suspects from running back to their room and having the situation escalate into a barricaded suspect situation.

     Three deputies ran at the suspects from the west. “Bansai” Dan Yamamoto  drove toward the suspects from the east to block their access to their car.  Dan skidded to a stop, threw the shift lever in ‘P’, and bailed out of his car on the run!  Exciting stuff so far, huh?  Oh wait did I say “P”?  My bad.  Dan missed the “P” by just one click.  That’s “R” in my car and that stands for reverse, the last rhyme in this verse.  This resulted in the following situation.  Dan’s empty car rolling eastbound toward the suspects’ parked car.  Dan chasing his car and losing ground fast.  The suspects chasing Dan and gaining ground fast.  All the other deputies chasing the suspects and gaining ground faster.  The final result was, Dan’s car caught the suspects’ car.  The other deputies caught the suspects and poor Dan caught two days off without pay.

VERDICT – Dan Yamamoto, this Court finds you Guilty of Imitating A Cartoon Character.

SENTENCE – You are sentenced to 1 year on the Jenny Craig Diet, 1 year watching and working out to Richard Simmons tapes and 1 week of EVOC training.  Sentences to be served consecutively.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Case #11- The LASD vs L.A.P.D. (playing cops and cops)

     In September 1987, the Carson patrol area known as, "Tortilla Flats", was suffering a rash of burglaries.  To combat this, Deputy Ray Gayton-Jacob and Al Harris, who were training officers at the time, came up with a burglary suppression plan.  On, about, Wednesday, September 14, 1987, Ray and his trainee would be dressed in full uniform, but in an unmarked, Chevy Malibu, detective car.  They would cruise the Tortilla Flats neighborhood looking for burglars.  Al and his trainee, would remain outside of the neighborhood in a regular patrol car.  If Ray and his partner saw something suspicious, they would keep an eye on it and call in Al and his trainee to check it out.      Things were quiet, until about 1:00 A.M..  Ray, and his trainee, had just finished jamming a hype at Torrance Boulevard and New Hampshire Avenue and had resumed their patrol.  Ray spotted a black and white patrol car coming slowly their way.  Ray assumed it was Al.  Ray assumed wrong.  It was an L.A.

Case #65 - re The People vs Don Chanler (A lesson for all trainees)

  Case #65 - re The People vs Don Chanler ( A lesson for all trainees ) Don Chanler was the Question Cadet in our Academy class, class #226.  At the end of each long day, one of the staff instructors would come in and, prior to dismissing us for the day, would always ask if anyone had any questions about the day's classes.  There was only one cadet who would ever raise his hand.  Don Frickin' Chanler.  Chanler would immediately raise his hand and the staff instructor would resignedly call his name. Chanler would always ask obvious question, after obvious question, delaying our release for the day with ev-ery sin-gle point-less ques-tion.  As with all Question Cadets, only he was interested in what he had to ask.  Three years later, Don Frickin Chanler came to Carson with me, Mike Chacon and about 8 other people from our Academy class.  In Patrol School, we were not relieved to discover that he had not changed.  In fact he had gotten worse, because not only was he the Question C

On Nicknames

  On Nicknames My wife once asked me why a large number of my male friends and acquaintances are referred to by nicknames. “Oso”, “Rick the Hawaiian”, “Vic the SEAL”, Chinaman Dave”, “Little Dave”, “Big Dave”, “Mexican Dave”, “Dave the plumber”, “Cliffdiver”, “Bucky”, “the Count”, the “Rock”, “Code 4 Greg”, “White Shaft”, “Bosko”, “Chodown”, “Sexual Chocolate”, “Kianporiguez”, “Krakatoa”, “Brian the Bee Guy”, “Chip” (aka, “Okie”), “Cowboy”, “Spot”, “Seven”, “Red Dot”, “Spiderman” aka “Turtleman”, “Freddie Krueger” and  “Smilin' Bob”, were a few. In pretty much any group, made up mostly of men, you will find that nicknames are common. There are probably more guys nicknamed, “Tex”, in the military than in Texas. Most nicknames are a result of one of the following. - An adapted version of your actual name. “G8”, was so named, because nobody could pronounce his name and there were 8 letters in it, beginning with “G”. “Bosckovich, which has even more letters, but was at least pro