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Case #27 - re The People vs Mike Chacon (The spoonmaster's assistant)

Case #27 - re The People vs Mike Chacon (The spoonmaster's assistant)

One EM shift, back when Carson’s area went up to 120th St, Mike "Chaka" Chacon had a little caper at the Blue Light Motel. Mike had been fortunate and detained a crackhead outside of one of the rooms. Unfortunately the crackhead didn’t have any dope on him. Fortunately, the crackhead had a key to one of the motel rooms. Mike was sure the cluck had dope in the room. Unfortunately, he was a one man car and he couldn’t safely go into the room with a suspect alone, not knowing who else might be in the room. Fortunately, Deputy Luis Nunez, aka "the Little Godfather", was nearby and responded to Mike’s request for backup. The two deputies went into the motel room, with the crackhead's permission of course.

Anyway, and unfortunately, a female companion of the crackhead was already in the room, threw some rock cocaine into the toilet and flushed it. Fortunately, the toilet didn’t work! Unfortunately, the toilet didn’t work because it was clogged with three days worth of crap, piss, toilet paper, cigarette butts and… oh yeah, a placenta and afterbirth.

Mike stared down at numerous rocks of cocaine, laying in, on, and around the toilet’s previously described contents. Mike squinted his eyes and concentrated. The rocks of coke were glittering, like so many uncut diamonds in the mud. All he had to do was retrieve them. Mike was tempted. Like Odysseus, so many centuries before, Mike heard the siren’s call. He bent down, intent on recovering them when, POW, his sense of smell was slammed with the odor of three days worth of number one, number two and decomposing number one and a half,
“Fuck it! I’m not getting that (the rocks), out of that (everything that wasn’t rocks). I’m cutting these nasty clucks loose.”, Mike declared.
“Well then get out of the way Susie, because the Little Godfather is 10-15 with two! Ha, ha, ha!”,
and with that, Luis shoved Chaca aside, grabbed a plastic spoon out of a nearby trashcan and started mining those glittering little gems out of their matrix. Chaca was kind enough to vomit outside.

Verdict – Mike Chacon, this Court finds you Guilty of Being A Squeamish Little Girlie Boy!



Sentence – You are ordered to start acting less like Susie Homemaker and more like Luis Nunez, a Deputy's Deputy, who’s not afraid of a little bit of stinky stuff if it’ll get him a hook! In addition your nickname is officially changed from Chaca to Chica. Get the door for the little lady will you bailiff?

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