Case #35 - re The People vs Rick Cocke (The Matrix)
Rick Cocke was on training under the fatherly guidance of “Boss Rhino” aka Mark Wedel. After several weeks, “Boss Rhino” had noticed areas where Rick needed to improve. One area was his investigative skills. Rick had a habit of questioning suspects in front of each other. This technique makes it rather difficult to trip crimees up in their lies; since it allows them to they hear each other’s alibis/stories/lies. “Boss Rhino” instructed Rick in a secret interviewing technique known as "Separating The Suspects, Before Questioning Them". Rick was certain that the STSBQT technique was just more over-the-hill-cop horse shit and that his own technique was better. This opinion was based on ..... well,... nothing. But, “The Boss”, is nothing if not patient. He patiently, and consistently, corrected Rick when he failed to follow the STSBQT technique.
A training officer’s job is a difficult one. You have to determine when a trainee is ready to fly on his own. One way, is to ride in the car with your trainee, but make him do everything, as if you weren’t there. That day came for Rick.
“Rick, today you are a one man car with me in the passenger seat. You are doing everything, driving, writing, handling the radio, deciding who to stop, how to conduct the investigations, everything. I’m there if you need back-up, but you’re in charge. You’re the man!” Wedel declared.
“Just remember, separate the suspects before questioning them, so you can trip them up in their lies.”
Rick was nervous, but excited.
“I’m the man!” he thought to himself. “I’m the MAN! I’M THE MAN!!”
Off they went. Around 148th St and Loness Av, they stopped a bucket with three Campanella Park Piru. Rick got them out, patted them down, sat them on the curb and searched their car. All he found was a BB gun. He brought it back to his training officer, who tossed it on the dash of the black and white. “Why don’t you find out who they are and F.I.R. them,” “Boss Rhino” suggested. (an F.I.R. is a small card that you fill out with a person's identifying information and characteristics. They are often used in future investigations)
Under the Boss’ watchful eye, Rick went to the three seated suspects and said to suspect #1, “What’s your name?
“Huh?”
“What’s your name?
“Uhh, Joe."
"Joe what?"
"Huh?"
"Joe what?"
"Uhhhh, Joe Washington!"
What’s your birthdate?”
“Huh?’’
What’s your birthdate?”
“Uhh, 1, 1, 71.”
To suspect #2
“What’s your name?
“Huh?”
“What’s your name?
“Uhh, Willie."
"Willie what?"
"Huh?"
"Willie what?"
"Uhhhh, Willie Jones!”
What’s your birthdate?”
“Huh?”
What’s your birthdate?”
“Uhhhh, 2, 2, 72”
To suspect #3
“What’s your name?
“Huh?”
"What's yo..."
At that point, Rick winced and jumped from a stinging sensation in his ass. When he looked at his ass to see what happened, he had to grab his 22” bicep when something stung him there. He looked up to see if there was a wasp, only to see his red faced training officer firing the BB gun at him.
“HOW MANY FUCKIN' TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SEPARATE THEM BEFORE YOU QUESTION THEM?”
“Sorry Sir!!”
“Boss Rhino" continued to fire as Rick stood there trying to dodge, and weave, and duck, and bob, as the BB’s came flying at him, while simultaneously screaming,
“SORRY, SIR! SORRY, SIR! SORRY, SIR!...”.
Several years later, Keanu Reeves would put these same moves to good use in a movie dodging bullets. Keanu did it far more gracefully and effectively than Rick did that day, and without the pathetic apologies. After dodging less than 10% of the BB’s fired at him, Rick hit on a new defensive strategy…RUN! And so he did, with Boss on his tail firing away, and the 3 Piru rolling on the ground in laughter!
Once he was out of BB’s, Wedel walked back to the black and white, with Rick trailing by 30 yards. “Boss Rhino” tossed the BB gun to one of the gangsters, thanked him for the use of it and got in the driver’s seat of the black and white. Rick’s day as, “The Man”, was at an end. As they drove away, Rick stared out the passenger window. After a few minutes of silence Wedel noticed that his 6’5’, 250 lb trainee was pouting, “Boss”, asked him,
“What are you sulking about?”
“Nothing.” Rick muttered and crossed his arms in a huff.
“What?”
“Nothing!”
Wedel turned his attention to the passing cars. After several minutes of silence, Rick realized that Wedel was not sufficiently interested enough to try and pry what was upsetting him, out of him. Rick looked at his feet and muttered,
“I just wish you wouldn’t do things to embarrass me in front of people.”
Wedel looked over at Rick, realizing for the first time how upset his actions had been to his trainee and did his best to console him.
“Pffft, whatever, ya big baby.”, he snorted.
(The Judge doesn’t like to deal with cowards and has called on his old pirate friend, Mr. Crab, of SpongeBob Squarepants fame, to stand in for him)
Verdict – Mister Cocke, there’s an ol' sayin', “He who runs away today, lives to run another day.” This Court finds ye Guilty o' Cowardice Under Fire.
Sentence – Now look here lassie, there’s no poutin’ in police work or pirate’n. Ya think I would a stood fer poutin’ on my ship? Why I’d’v had the big baby lashed ta the yardarm! An' ifn he'd pouted ‘r whined ‘bout that, I’d’v had’m keelhauled. If he’d a pouted ‘bout that…well… then… Well then, I’d a been impressed. Most men who survive a good keelhaulin, scream their bloody guts out, an’ that be the truth by Hob! An' another thing, lassie, ye do as yer T.O tells ye the first time! I gave my orders once! If’n ya wern' a listen’n, or wern' a payin’ ‘tention, then I’d get yer 'tention with my leather boot up yer backside! I didn’t have no dealin’s with no BB guns, whatever the hell those are, sounds like mini musket balls ta me.
Rick Cocke was on training under the fatherly guidance of “Boss Rhino” aka Mark Wedel. After several weeks, “Boss Rhino” had noticed areas where Rick needed to improve. One area was his investigative skills. Rick had a habit of questioning suspects in front of each other. This technique makes it rather difficult to trip crimees up in their lies; since it allows them to they hear each other’s alibis/stories/lies. “Boss Rhino” instructed Rick in a secret interviewing technique known as "Separating The Suspects, Before Questioning Them". Rick was certain that the STSBQT technique was just more over-the-hill-cop horse shit and that his own technique was better. This opinion was based on ..... well,... nothing. But, “The Boss”, is nothing if not patient. He patiently, and consistently, corrected Rick when he failed to follow the STSBQT technique.
A training officer’s job is a difficult one. You have to determine when a trainee is ready to fly on his own. One way, is to ride in the car with your trainee, but make him do everything, as if you weren’t there. That day came for Rick.
“Rick, today you are a one man car with me in the passenger seat. You are doing everything, driving, writing, handling the radio, deciding who to stop, how to conduct the investigations, everything. I’m there if you need back-up, but you’re in charge. You’re the man!” Wedel declared.
“Just remember, separate the suspects before questioning them, so you can trip them up in their lies.”
Rick was nervous, but excited.
“I’m the man!” he thought to himself. “I’m the MAN! I’M THE MAN!!”
Off they went. Around 148th St and Loness Av, they stopped a bucket with three Campanella Park Piru. Rick got them out, patted them down, sat them on the curb and searched their car. All he found was a BB gun. He brought it back to his training officer, who tossed it on the dash of the black and white. “Why don’t you find out who they are and F.I.R. them,” “Boss Rhino” suggested. (an F.I.R. is a small card that you fill out with a person's identifying information and characteristics. They are often used in future investigations)
Under the Boss’ watchful eye, Rick went to the three seated suspects and said to suspect #1, “What’s your name?
“Huh?”
“What’s your name?
“Uhh, Joe."
"Joe what?"
"Huh?"
"Joe what?"
"Uhhhh, Joe Washington!"
What’s your birthdate?”
“Huh?’’
What’s your birthdate?”
“Uhh, 1, 1, 71.”
To suspect #2
“What’s your name?
“Huh?”
“What’s your name?
“Uhh, Willie."
"Willie what?"
"Huh?"
"Willie what?"
"Uhhhh, Willie Jones!”
What’s your birthdate?”
“Huh?”
What’s your birthdate?”
“Uhhhh, 2, 2, 72”
To suspect #3
“What’s your name?
“Huh?”
"What's yo..."
At that point, Rick winced and jumped from a stinging sensation in his ass. When he looked at his ass to see what happened, he had to grab his 22” bicep when something stung him there. He looked up to see if there was a wasp, only to see his red faced training officer firing the BB gun at him.
“HOW MANY FUCKIN' TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SEPARATE THEM BEFORE YOU QUESTION THEM?”
“Sorry Sir!!”
“Boss Rhino" continued to fire as Rick stood there trying to dodge, and weave, and duck, and bob, as the BB’s came flying at him, while simultaneously screaming,
“SORRY, SIR! SORRY, SIR! SORRY, SIR!...”.
Several years later, Keanu Reeves would put these same moves to good use in a movie dodging bullets. Keanu did it far more gracefully and effectively than Rick did that day, and without the pathetic apologies. After dodging less than 10% of the BB’s fired at him, Rick hit on a new defensive strategy…RUN! And so he did, with Boss on his tail firing away, and the 3 Piru rolling on the ground in laughter!
Once he was out of BB’s, Wedel walked back to the black and white, with Rick trailing by 30 yards. “Boss Rhino” tossed the BB gun to one of the gangsters, thanked him for the use of it and got in the driver’s seat of the black and white. Rick’s day as, “The Man”, was at an end. As they drove away, Rick stared out the passenger window. After a few minutes of silence Wedel noticed that his 6’5’, 250 lb trainee was pouting, “Boss”, asked him,
“What are you sulking about?”
“Nothing.” Rick muttered and crossed his arms in a huff.
“What?”
“Nothing!”
Wedel turned his attention to the passing cars. After several minutes of silence, Rick realized that Wedel was not sufficiently interested enough to try and pry what was upsetting him, out of him. Rick looked at his feet and muttered,
“I just wish you wouldn’t do things to embarrass me in front of people.”
Wedel looked over at Rick, realizing for the first time how upset his actions had been to his trainee and did his best to console him.
“Pffft, whatever, ya big baby.”, he snorted.
(The Judge doesn’t like to deal with cowards and has called on his old pirate friend, Mr. Crab, of SpongeBob Squarepants fame, to stand in for him)
Verdict – Mister Cocke, there’s an ol' sayin', “He who runs away today, lives to run another day.” This Court finds ye Guilty o' Cowardice Under Fire.
Sentence – Now look here lassie, there’s no poutin’ in police work or pirate’n. Ya think I would a stood fer poutin’ on my ship? Why I’d’v had the big baby lashed ta the yardarm! An' ifn he'd pouted ‘r whined ‘bout that, I’d’v had’m keelhauled. If he’d a pouted ‘bout that…well… then… Well then, I’d a been impressed. Most men who survive a good keelhaulin, scream their bloody guts out, an’ that be the truth by Hob! An' another thing, lassie, ye do as yer T.O tells ye the first time! I gave my orders once! If’n ya wern' a listen’n, or wern' a payin’ ‘tention, then I’d get yer 'tention with my leather boot up yer backside! I didn’t have no dealin’s with no BB guns, whatever the hell those are, sounds like mini musket balls ta me.
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