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Case #50– The People vs Mark Wedel (Boss Rhino comes clean)

Case #50– The People vs Mark Wedel (Boss Rhino comes clean)

     Mark Wedel became a Training Officer sometime in about late 1987, or early 1988. As he hit the backdoor, at the end of shift, his unmistakeable voice could often be heard, yelling out,
“Well that was a fuckin’ waste of time! GeezisfockinCrist!”
This outburst was to indicate he had another statless night. This exclamation was a transparent and, in the end, vain attempt to head off the inevitable looks of disdain that would come his way from the other black-gloved, sap toting, training officers, especially Vic Rodriguez and Keith Kodera, who kept track of who booked, and who didn’t. This hope was always dashed, as they glared at him and shook their heads, letting him know he had fallen short of T.O. standards once again. (By the way, back then, only felony hooks and guns counted as a stat). Occasionally, he did luck into a hook, at which time he was less loquacious in his announcement of his good fortune, but more politically incorrect, with a simple yell of, “THAT’S TITS!!!”

    Wedel, is also known as, “Boss Rhino”. An appellation he picked up one night when a dusted (high on P.C.P) Samoan was running down Avalon Bl. Wedel was the only deputy standing in the way of the phencylydine pumped island warrior, and freedom. Wedel snorted, scraped the bottom of his boots against the asphalt a couple of times, ducked his head and charged head on into the screaming cannibal descendant. They collided and the Samoan wingnut went head first into the roadway, dazed long enough for the other deputies to put the hooks on him. An onlooker made the comment,
“MAN! That little broke-nosed dude looks just like a baby rhino.”
Then someone noticed the similarity in fighting styles of Wedel, and Spiderman’s nemesis, “Boss Rhino”, and a legend was born.

Now Boss Rhino has been reading these little stories from the beginning. He’s read all the stories. Hell, he was there for most of them, and was my informant for several of them! He has had PEELENTY of time to make any corrections that needed to be made, but he has not. Indicating that he is PRETTY satisfied with the way things have been presented. And no wonder, when he let the Court convict an innocent man of something that HE did! Some of you may recall a story in which the Court convicted Richard G. Tomlin, Homicide Detective (Rich always asks that I point that last part out). In one case (not yet on the Blog), Rich Tomlin, err Richard G. Tomlin, Homicide Detective, was convicted of being a certain deputy’s Training Officer. And a few vague references to that point have been made in other cases. Well, it has come to the Court’s attention, that poor little Richie, I mean, Richard G. Tomlin, Homicide Detective, was framed! It's true, Richard G. Tomlin, Homicide Detective, put up a bit of a protest at the time, but let’s face it, if you ask them, everyone in prison is innocent! So, you can’t expect the Court to pay attention to someone, once they’ve been found guilty. And it's not like this is a real court, where you are presumed innocent! Just the opposite in fact. Here, you are presumed guilty as soon as you are accused. However, new evidence has come to light proving that Richard G. Tomlin, Homicide Detective, is INNOCENT, and it’s Mark Wedel, aka “Boss Rhino”, who bares the blame, for not having a certain deputy fired for ALLEGEDLY not being up to par. (I just threw "allegedly" in there, so I don't get sued, but we all know the score) The guy made Sgt., so, apparently he was up to par (whatever). As a side note, Tomlin is a big fan of Spiderman’s. Coincidence Boss Rhino?

In about 2012, I was in the O.S.S. office talking to Wedel, and he mentioned that he had just seen Rich Tomlin, ahem, Richard G. Tomlin, Homicide Detective, a few days before. Mark told me that they had gotten to talking about what a fine job I do of reminding you all of what fuck ups you all are, while never seeming to see my own missteps worthy of a story, or two. Rich mentioned how I was always blaming a certain deputy on him. I told Wedel,
“Yeah, I get a laugh out of reminding Rich about that guy.”, and Wedel laughed and said,
“Yeah,that is funny, especially since I trained that guy!”

As soon as the words finished coming out of Wedel’s mouth, his eyes went wide, his mouth clamped shut, his body stiffened, he started whistling some nameless tune, and he spun himself around in his chair to face his desk, where he immediately found nothing to do (ahhhh, the advantages of being a gang detective), so he picked up some sheets of paper with doodles on them and began shuffling them around.
“What?”, I asked.
There was a moment’s silence, and then he broke, letting his head slump down to his chest. I assume his entire body slumped, but it’s kind of hard to tell with that potato-like physique of his.
“Alright! It was me! It was me, it was me, it was me! It’s been me all this time. Are you happy now? I’m the one that had that guy as a trainee!”
I was speechless. And just like every other bad egg that cracks under interrogation, once he started, there was no stopping him.
“I tried to fire him, I did! I really did! But the Brass wouldn’t go for it. I knew he was worthless from the start, but my hands were tied, Don’t you understand? The best I could do was get him sent back to the jail. Ya gotta believe me! You believe me don’t you? Come on, don’t look at me like that! It’s not like I was the only one! Stan Bailiff had him too!”

Wow!  First lying for years about little Rich, Oh Jesus, Richard G. Tomlin, Homicide Detective, Give it a frickin' rest already, Rich, RICHARD G. FRICKIN' TOMLIN, HOMICIDE  FRICKIN' DETECTIVE! FUCK!  And then he throws Stan Bailiff under the bus? Just WOW!

Verdict – Mark Wedel, This Court finds ye Guilty o' Framing An Innocent Man (and gettin' caught). On the plus side, Rich ('I'm not writing it again, now fuck off ya little bastard!) is Innocent of being responsible for, "we all be knowin' who". On the negative side, Rich is still Guilty of sending out Gay porn that one time (the one time that I know of, anyway). Stan Bailiff, be found Innocent. After all, nobody really expected much from that one-man-sideshow, anywho. (if you don't know Stan, he's like 9 and a half feet tall and weighs about 150 pounds)

Sentence – Detective Wedel, tsk, tsk tsk.  What am I gonna do with you? Ya done a bad thing, but ya did it ta Tomlin, soooooo, what’s the harm? I do have to make ya do somethin’ though. So, fer Framin' An Innocent Man (and gettin' caught), ye be ordered ta watch the movie, L.A. Confidential”, and buy the series disc set of, “The Shield”, fer tips on how ta be getin't away with them kind of shenanigans. One of which is, “Don’t Rat Yourself Out”, dummy!

Boss Rhino had his birthday this week. Happy Birthday Mark!  What are ya 82?

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